Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be so many things. I pictured too many ambitions in my head and I wanted to accomplish them all. When I was 5, I wanted to be a mechanic and used to play pretend with my dad’s toolbox. Progressively, it grew to be a professional tennis player, a ballet dancer, a celebrity, a professional boxer, a teacher, a stewardess, an archaeologist and a neurosurgeon.

In some way, it explains the reason why I can be quite a dreamer and it doesn’t end here with career options for it can stretch to the men I have fantasies about. LOL.

I wish to pursue human pathology at Royal College of Pathologists of Australasia in the long run.

With that passion, my current goal is to ace GAMSAT.

I work best with stress and datelines. I hate it when I have absolutely nothing to do.

I’ve been travelling since I was 4 years of age. New Year, new destination and I love it. I wish to relive those moments from skiing at the gateway to Alps in Zurich to strolling down the magical streets of Kathmandu.

Rajasthan is the one destination and the very place I desire to dwell my very existence. Threadbare and fading, the land stretches from desert dunes and scattered slums to the rich embroidery of ancient, jewelled palaces, and the majestic domes of forgotten empires that will always continue to fascinate me.

I had my first crush on an Italian tour guide I met in the Maldives when I was 10.

I was a pretty grumpy child, growing up and have an embarrassing picture to prove it.

I’m quite an extreme sport enthusiast myself and I wish to bungee jump from the Bloukrans Bridge and perhaps, experience a hand gliding adventure at the majestic peaks of India someday.

I can be very thrifty and am no longer surprised that I am among the few people who can actually save. Sometimes, the hesitation of getting something for myself annoys the people I shop with.

Given a choice, I rather shop for others.

I appreciate a good conversation anytime and a witty sense of humour is my cup of tea.

A compulsive mind about the English grammar irritates me.

I love the way Jennifer Aniston carries herself and her biography is a personal favourite.

I like to believe that I can map my life through movies. Like how I wanted to learn salsa after watching the Havana nights, how I grew to appreciate Spanish guitars after Vicky Christina Barcelona and the change I sought for after Freedom writers.

I would love to walk in the shoes of Queen Rania of Jordon.

I find men, who read, write and cook very inquisitive. I’m drawn and awed.

There’s something about some men and the way they take out their wallets from their back pockets that is so irresistible.

I live to eat and I’m glad that my closest friends abide by similar principles in their lives.

I read religiously and I love the fact that I share this instinctive relationship with the stories authors narrate. My fondest genres are thriller and suspense.

The sight of cats scares me. My neighborhood coffee shop was infested with cats that I always ended up sitting cross legged on the chairs where I dined. The fact that those felines always settled below my chair threatens me.

I can never ever enjoy a good flight because of its peculiar smell that makes me nauseous.

I leave for Melbourne in exactly 5 days.

The one place I wish to unravel is the island of Santorini, Greece. Its one unconventional act I want to experience with my significant other.

Day 44, 180º S

I wish to be all those many things, still.

I question the possibility of the first ticket she took out of here. Was change a reason succumbed to intimidation? Do I dare expect more or situate my preceding notions on hold in light of what is not to be estimated? Is there a legitimate agenda one should propose in piloting his/ her life? What may have influenced the discernment she now has in judgment to how obstinate she once was about mapping her life in pen unwaveringly?

Grown to be incredulously skeptical about the permanent ink and I’ve opt the alternative of using a pencil.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror [ 11:45 AM ]

A little tired, a little overboard and a little disappointed.

And I'm waking up once again - watching the slow movement of sleep dance on light legs reflected from the window. The mind plays thoughts from way back far and each memory dances with a tear.

I'm still here and intend to take it easy this week.

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Monday, February 02, 2009

Pilot. [ 11:58 PM ]

10 days.

Alas, one of my life's goals might just come real.

With the 12th nearing its corner, it’s time to draw a line, refocus and adjust myself into things I’ve set myself to do. As I tried to condense my thoughts, I recognize that "What Next?" would be reinforcing my quest of becoming a better person and to become a fully fledged independent adult. In this way, I've established myself to be a planner and actually take up the leadership to be responsible for my life.

There is so much in 2008 that I want to see this year and this comes as delightful as a surprise would be because I don't normally want to bring the remnants of past, or the last year rather, forth. So it's not goodbye.

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

At some point the peace will be broken. [ 10:41 PM ]

The ticking of the clock is perhaps the most frightening sound in the world. It is the only noise you'd hear on a daily basis, besides maybe your own heartbeat, that can be attributed to your very life slipping away. Yet, without its consistent tempo, I find myself unable to sleep at night. This, it seems, makes me flawed in some fundamental, irreversible way.

What about change that makes us so afraid?

Does it primarily depend how quickly time goes by when you're incredibly happy and with the one you love most or a continuous search, it will be to seek someone else who'd make me smile the way you did? Additionally, the fear of being pulled out of the comfort zone with so much force that you can feel it eating away at the top layer of everything you are and were?

It was the last day. The second hand on the clock ticks ceaselessly, air is exhaled and soft words were spoken.

I couldn't dare imagine.

2 Comment(s)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

This is where I end, You begin. [ 11:39 PM ]

Time and again has life made me witness how good I feel about the relationship I’'ve forge with some of the amazing individuals I’ll ever possibly meet. A much subterranean situation it was that in the blink of an eye it all falls apart. You'd progressed to cloud my mind and this becomes increasingly difficult.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Scribbled resolutions, crumbled and tossed. [ 5:31 PM ]

You taste the last day of the year as it is here. As the Earth begins another lap, you get a chance, cheering above your weary head to start anew as it offers the illusion to flow without fear. It’s another year to get it right.

Sights and sounds don't seem as familiar, as they did last year or the year before. Everything was now impossibly physically within my reach nothing was comprehendible and graspable for my mind. A blur of emotions tried to catch up with me as my mind raced civilization, preset standards, judgment by others and me. But my mind persists to pace ahead and every layered restraint of the self peels off and falls behind, by grace in search for truth and answers.
I have taken one too many plunges to realise and recuperate my compelling abilities to what my body, mind and soul had suggested. There’s only so much my heart can take, its frontier is something I’d want to figure.

I always knew I had something to live for. The reflecting pond that’s brimful with my dreams, I promise, will never stand stagnant or cold before me. In the outside world, it’s yours against theirs but in your own mind it’s yours against what you can achieve. The handful of support through a friend, I couldn’t imagine my days without, the grasp of love through a family whose love is unconditional and the grip of hope that destiny appreciates, a new year paints the identity you seek when you look into the canvas. The journey may not necessarily be paved with good intentions, but the destination is near.

It’s going to be a year of discovery and breakthrough.

Watch me.

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Life time worth remembering [ 1:36 PM ]

My night concluded with one of the best dreams that fed my soul just right like it arrived with a sparkling-clear dawn.

My mother spoke, with a pinched smile holding so much unsaid, that everything was going to be perfect: decorators and florists and caterers and relatives and even the absent-minded groom were all in place. A brief hesitation, a whisper-soft kiss on an unveiled cheek, the whisper that my father was anticipating in line with the bridesmaids and my mother fled to take her place inside.

It was the most beautiful setting. The chapel was dimly lighted, with just about every candle you could imagine about the altar flickering idly beneath the silvery caress of light that flooded into the sanctuary via a large rose window. The grape vines were reasoned with deep shades of scarlet and pearl white and the sun was filtered gently by just enough cloud to hide a few rough edges and make everyone look good.

Draped gracefully, hand-beaded and feature exquisite embroidery adorned with Swarovski crystals – It was the perfect wedding dress that took on my silhouette, one that reflects the meticulous manner of Italian couture. In my hands held a bouquet of white and crimson roses, decorated with baby's breath. My veil flowed to meet with the gown’s train that was followed by my dazzling little flower girls and boys who clad with daisies in their hair.

My father took my hands into his.

It seemed as if it was only a moment, my journey down the aisle, and at length I found myself at his side.

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

A voice to be heard. [ 10:20 PM ]

Having the ability to drive home a strong message, Taare Zameen Par has achieved a place in my heart. It's a tale that compells you to draw parallels with your life. With such strong conviction, the story strikes a chord that's a far cry from the mundane cinematography, treated with such sensitivity and maturity that you're left shell-shocked in amazement. A movie that make the best of performances pale in comparison.

I have nothing but insatiable admiration for this magnificant tale of a lifetime.

1 Comment(s)

Saturday, November 08, 2008

It is I who is You. [ 12:11 AM ]

Everyday just blows into one, the moon starts to look just like the sun
Full steam ahead day and night, never fully charged, never quite right
But she was a snowy day, a break from working hard with so little pay
She let me get some rest, she helped me sleep real late
So I can find another day

Val Emmict.

I do not know enough about unpredictability to parade a full out front about how much I believe I am capable to face what's heading my way. I need a little perspective to figure what is trying to spill out of me. You're a distraction, I was delusional to covet and you made me smile for awhile. I've come to realize that it will always be safe behind these walls for it fights a war of its own.

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Monday, November 03, 2008

His dirty laundry is nothing that I can't keep clean. [ 9:10 PM ]

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Freedom caught on loose ends. [ 11:03 PM ]

I sited my writing on hold because I was intimidated with what I chose to believe in and delivering it, because the tales I wish to narrate couldn't mirror the shackle of events that have been occurring as of late and because, I find myself in a situation most often reminded based on that sole evaluation that I'm in a pool of distraught fulfillment, in need of some serious aid.
Now, in an inclusive hundred eighty turn , its one of those times where you want to inscribe a songa novel and a elegy, a bible of a certain anthology all in one and you don't know what the subject is or what it's all about. You just want to purge and get something out.

Your words hit me like a train not facilitating any form blissful ignorance. I feel my heart beating like a torrent of water churning, deep inside of me. If my wall wasn't heighted to my disbelief, my guard would have slipped and you'd witness my plunge in attempt for one leap of faith in the run. On recurring nights, I assume, through all that thinking, I couldn't attain a decent way out for this resurrecting dream, a more rent less desire for clarification, each day.

Splinters penetrate the core of my fragile apprehension, every time, heeds are religiously paid to my father's acumen. It's like stumbling home drunk, tipsy from the trills only to find your door beaten down. I was warned about the audacity to stare listlessly as secrets from the teased other are exposed to the hostile world. But I continue to be placed under the oath that only best I give, is the best I receive so I am drawn into the world I've sham upon to be deceived one too many times. One shouldn't be disillusioned to deem that place in time could be recreated.

Descending upon my body, mind and soul, the drapes tugs on my emotions, lacing it tighter, leaving little room to live and let live. I'm on this rampage, on the edge of lunacy as life fills me another wakeful glass of aspiration.

All end's where beginnings start.

1 Comment(s)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Steal into shadows. [ 10:21 PM ]

You're conceptual image of perfection becomes a beacon. I've collected collided emotions, in attempt to find fruition on my troubled mind. The seemingly under developed love that seem to sprout from every orifice of my body may reason out something I fail to witness.

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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ave Maria. [ 9:37 PM ]

With the breach a new semester, not to mention, the very last one, as refreshing as how certain things have appeared, some unexpected, some unfortunate for me has the very least reflected a routine that consume too much of a responsibility and time that they steal the energy from the more important things. I think being torn between things is one of the very most annoying things you can ever experience.

Last week witnessed nights through the wee hours of mornings as I lay in bed with mist leaden tired eyes, dim from weary working, muscles that stretch fitfully, taught over hollow bones with joints that creak like feeble branches in a heavy wind. And yet! The helpless mind rage on awake defying sleepless hours, dragging though they do become completely wasteful. I reckon the truancy I choose to deliver didn't quite measure much for a need.

With only silence, the echo clashes with the jet black of my imagination in a constant attempt darting to sources of noise and courtesy to Ninjavideo, here's what I've been watching as of late.

The air gets cooler, the mood gets lighter – it's silly what high definition can do, it’s the new age holocaust where power's been dictating the scene through the likes of Hugh Laurie, Eric Dane, James Lafferty, Dave Annable, Paul Blackthorne, Penn Badgley and Brody Jenner in leading serials, moreover, leading men in my life that have been undeniably, satisfying every needy bone in my body as they draw me to never ending rampage.

In the spirit of preparing myself for another shot at fate, I've been reading, contemplating, and discussing old theory notes and other materials. And back in school, I remembered my dampened spirits as soon as I arrive at a plateau in our learning, trying to comprehend my stagnated abilities. Everyone toughens up against the pressure, I for one hunger for inspiration.

Now, days pass like minutes, a blur of color and sound, never slowing, never ceasing, one after another in unending procession. I've moved safely from a transition, hopeful and as promising to rouse me from this stupor.

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Failure. [ 6:58 PM ]

Has become comforting, I'm afraid.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Baby steps. [ 9:29 PM ]

I could just hold for a little while longer and I'll get to the place I long to be.

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

92nd St. [ 10:32 AM ]

When Jennifer Aniston was twenty-nine and with Brad Pitt, she was asked in an interview to name the best smell in the world. She replied, "The best smell in the world is that man you love." The interviewer then asked, "How is that smell?" and Jennifer sighed and replied, "Oh, I don't know. It's like your dad. The smell of your dad."

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Scribbled out in ugly writing. [ 10:50 AM ]

The last couple of days saw the unhappy brooding over a cobweb of scattered nothing. In an anomalous weave of events, there is spinning confusion and I am feeling sick to my stomach. I could've easily drowned myself silly in this pool of unbelievably taxing nonsense. What are these thoughts for anyway? People are getting more flustered, it’s not funny anymore. Absolutely redundant and purely, intended, these riddles, one irrelevant to the next, needn't even be answered to begin with.

A horrible tempest, an undying wildfire and the eager ears, words they whisper to.

In emptiness comes the uninvited company of madness.

The consequences are as such.

1 Comment(s)

Friday, August 15, 2008

Closer. [ 11:38 PM ]

As I made my usual departure from the place I tutor, I headed to the common bus-top in the area, in attempt to walk more of a distance not the road less travelled by. But I was rather looking forward to the pretty little nursery I unmistakably pass by. Now, by foot, I wanted to see what got me so intrigued in the first place.

My iPod earphones were already in my ears and You don’t know my name by Alicia Keys filled its cavities. That article of music soon came to an end and shuffled to the soulful Where I stood by, by Missy Higgins. It grabbed out to me and I almost felt a tear emerge from the sides of my eyes and this song proved flat down that the intensity and content of the music itself can play out the mix on any day. The helplessness of the lyrics took me along a journey of dreams and ideals, and because there are dreams I feel could never be possible and yet, I try and try to chase them, it saddened me to a great extent.

I needed some place quiet. A solitary bench sits out at the corner - sitting among the patches of grass. I looked up. A tree lives near with its limp hanging leaves casting a shadow beneath allowing me to bask in the warm glow of the late afternoon sun.

Little hands pry the mini outdoor kitchen drawer open and clasp victoriously around a cereal bowl. "Fust!" The young boy, pleased with himself toddles over to the kitchen table with his treasure in hand. I looked over. Tiny hands grasp the hard, plastic rim - all she wants is to carry her own chair. She is but a toddler acting on a whim. I recall the independence she craved. Strong's her will, though for her arms it's a dare she needed to defeat. A shadowy figure watched her from the rooftops as her wary eyes tracked her progress. The pretty little girl skipped through hives of daisies, her golden pigtails bouncing merrily from under the hood of her light blue dress.

I remembered the nostalgic yet somehow poignant conversation with Sam I had last night. I didn't miss the constant pressure. And then again when it returned, reminding me of all the things I have to miss and worry about. So much it gives me a headache, except in those fleeting minutes when I allow myself to sink.

And just stop.

Everything to be finally still.

1 Comment(s)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Rest less me. [ 10:55 PM ]

Shadows dance with the flickering candles.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Boredom claims my heart and brain. [ 1:18 PM ]

Elizabeth Messina

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Monday, August 11, 2008

You put my out like a fire. [ 1:31 AM ]

The clock has not enough hands for your sorrow or your hurt. Misery is pending, I couldn't change it for the world. Excitement reaches its peak only to come crashing down. There is no middle ground, no pocket on this slope, everything is against me, you're pushing my down.

I threw myself in it and it's an intangible vision that grew out of your sight.

Disappointed, wrapped, just out of my grasp.

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Monday, August 04, 2008

Everything little thing. [ 3:40 PM ]

You walk into a concert and hear the melodic growl of the bass guitar, the smooth thumping engine echo of the rhythms being blared through amps. The sky above was a cloudless one. The heat becomes oppressive, pressing us into relentless fans as blankets of heat smothered me, stifling the breath in my lungs.

The first man to take note of was "That Guy at the Concert". You know the guy. The "drunk/high/whatever-crazy-blue shirt wearing-incoherently sticking long fingers in the air while shaking his flat ass guy" that everyone laughs at and remembers five days later? Yeah, that was he. He was situated a few people in front of us. The fact that he was also trying to "dance" like he was the Guy at the Concert only made it worse and this went on as long as I could remember.

As the walls of Fort Canning catch the evening sun and slowly swallow it as the music paints the sky a deep blue, the lights blink and sound fills the elaborate sets and space in between. In the crowd, heads bob and bang as bands rock out on stage. We were, of course, at the front of the stage. Getting our ears blown out and our hearts pounded out of our chests. It was the best place to be, really.

Jason Mraz soon took on the stage, with a guitar of his in hand. It was one of the most memorable moments I had last night. His warm voice caressed my ears and tells me about the joys and wonders of this world - I’m never going to let go. Ryan Tedder, too, really knows how to put up a fantastic show. The lyrics of his have shades of melancholy, and there is a definite emotional undercurrent running through the band. The pussycat dolls completely blew me away as the multitalented sensation that they are.

If the jeans don't fit, live unbuttoned. That was exactly how Levi's® fashion show exploited this campaign in a divisive way in attempt, to once again embrace how good of a pair of jeans they are even if that means, having a string of really good looking men flaunting the decency of it, half naked, on stage.

Murmurings hushed in anticipation as Alicia Keys took on the silhouette of a superwoman (amazing curves) and as a positive person she reflected an epitome of female empowerment and concluded the night with some of the favourites.

The sea of people swells forward in waves of heat, only hoping to surface. Some showed their passion by their voice and words while others stride their fists in the air. With your brain affected by a combination of dehydration, and adrenaline, it feels as though you lose yourself in the temporary euphoria.

Irreplaceable is the experience as is the memory.

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Saturday, August 02, 2008

May you find some comfort here. [ 12:00 AM ]

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

Theres always one reason to feel not good enough

And its hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release"

Angel, Sarah McLachlan.

You're stronger than you think.

Have a beautiful 20th, Sarah (:

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Big is beautiful. [ 9:04 PM ]

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. "

Thornton Wilder.

Thank you, Ally (:

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

There's no better reason. [ 1:31 PM ]

mj. hey ray! feeling good says:
actually when u were sleeping
mj. hey ray! feeling good says:
i was smiling a lot
mj. hey ray! feeling good says:
just knowing u're asleep and just there
mj. hey ray! feeling good says:
like i could disturb you anytime i wanted
mj. hey ray! feeling good says:
and it was nice

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Wonderwoman. [ 9:35 PM ]

"There are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do, it just doesn't happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they're important ones, you might as well hold on to them."

Happy birthday, beautiful (:

2 Comment(s)

Cold water and noble men. [ 9:32 PM ]

My curiosity is beginning to fade I have noticed, with just a touch of fear now, I back away slowly, almost immediately. There's been a plethora of not so good events at school as of late because I'm pretty much done for now, only to realize that there's just one more of an exam left that wouldn’t make much of a difference. Well, in my recent homework, I found that disappointment weighs heavy on the pride and I can only escape by a revolution. It's like a broken record in my head, playing that I could do this all over again, only better but the only change I seek is the change that defeats me. If there's more to it, I can only bank on the rest of my semester to wear the ebbing pain off.

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Door from heaven. [ 10:50 PM ]

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

The window to my soul. [ 12:47 AM ]

When I have grown old with my eyes poor,

but having more to show

I shall revisit them and find them,

though unchanged in word, so different to behold

The sun sets low in the sky behind me, adding a soft but cutting edge to the clouds, and suffusing the scene with a tinge of blood. Gently the wind sighs, ruffling my hair and making the field of corn I stand in ripple, as though an army of ghostly feet pass through it.

I could linger for eternity.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

The watchers. [ 11:16 PM ]

My mind has been convulsing, flashing images up and over and an array of memories so close, yet far away come streaming back to soothe me to a slumber. There have been conflicting nights.

I've grown to realised how amazing the infinite interest can direct people on to the dimension of an inviting. But somehow uncanny and improbable, he’s one person I can't fathom any respect for. It's ashamed that such truth existed in my life. There was something so terribly and indescribably out of place in the frail words I spoke about him that I deserve, nothing of this.

It's warmer here, in touch and spirit and the cold’s gone.

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Monday, July 07, 2008

You sit there in your heartache. [ 12:06 AM ]

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet

You dont have to drink right now

But you can dip your feet

Every once in a little while

The Killers.

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Bedshaped and legs of stone. [ 11:40 PM ]

Many's the time I ran with you down

The rainy roads of our old town

Many the lives we lived in each day

And buried all together

Don't laugh at me, don't look away

Keane.

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

But you're the truth. [ 1:52 AM ]

Very often and now, the past has come, revisited and gone to a place where a map I conjured, doesn't resemble his face. I'm not here to relive the memories you linger in my head and I've loved enough to hurt that it's time to diverge to the roads less taken, without you. I know there is on copious occasions, I’ve shouted the truth only to be deafened to what I had to say but you are no longer that broiling pit that lies on my stomach, the synonym of my worry, each day.

In fact, possibilities linger longer than people who stumble around in a daze, of a drunken stupor. Possibilities to achieve my dreams, possibilities to only ever want,more tomorrow than I wanted today, and possibilities to ache, for a silent opening in the chapter of my book, on the perfect page with the perfect line.

Which brings to remind me that through achieving all these possibilities, I long to run wild in the forest of my own power, to feel like myself again and I can place every other priority on hold to pour my soul on my graceful mediums of the written word.

I'll continue to pray for a sparkle of hope to interrupt the screech of a frustrating melody that’s feared to come. Till then, following the path and nothing more. The door I see might just disappear like the whistling oak.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Moonlight crawls down the St. [ 9:12 PM ]

I feel insanely good tonight.

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Friday, April 18, 2008

Blowing out my mind. [ 9:27 PM ]

I'm teary, i'm drained. I don't want to be dried up.

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Would you come with? [ 7:24 PM ]

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Friday, April 04, 2008

A warm bed of memories. [ 11:10 AM ]

(Heals us temporarily...)

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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Peaches&cream. [ 9:21 PM ]

Have a blessed journey, Sandy.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Kara's flowers. [ 9:08 PM ]

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Nothing last forever but be honest babe. [ 12:20 PM ]

Adam, stripped down to his white tee and black jeans, howled into the microphone, prancing and preening on stage with a band you just couldn't do without. Waving his arm in the air he tried to get the crowd to keep with the rhythm as extravagant colours and sounds splashed across the elaborate set.

He breathed me into fiction and fleeting as it went, I couldn't believe how extraordinary the concert was and it really felt that clock couldn't be more alive.

(Won't be soon before long..)

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Lend me some sugar, I'm your neighbour. [ 2:26 PM ]

(Little of your time..)

5 Comment(s)

Friday, March 14, 2008

Once more. [ 7:06 PM ]

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

92 mins. [ 6:34 PM ]

I caught Juno again. One of few terrific scripts written in this genre and I loved how Ellen Page delivered such an offbeat character that I've grown to love more like Ellen Degeneres every time. The movie manages to address the whole abortion vs adoption issue in a surprisingly mature way and hilarious as engaging it can be.

It's the kind of movie you'll be stifling in laughter, you'll cry and you'll google in vain for the soundtrack album afterwards. Highly recommended.

Katie Hurley once wrote, "The way to the heart is through the ears."

I couldn't help but be troubled by my granduncle's little accident with his heart condition. It started mild like how Dad first experienced it and he's now, in bed after a day long surgery to his valves. He's the closest thing to a grandfather and raised me pretty well with urban legends and folk tales I used to love and listen to. Not to mention, his home made chilly crabs and bread.

Though with age, you can only wonder how shorter of a life you’re left with but in his case, he is never much of a pessimist but rather determined to live for his beautiful wife and his work, he dedicated his own life for.

Still is, very much alive and I'm amazed.

I'm moved by his beliefs and I'll continue to listen.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Anyone else but you. [ 6:08 PM ]

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

The monkey on you're back is the latest trend

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train

I kiss you all starry eyed,

my body's swinging from side to side

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

- JUNO.

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Purpose. [ 12:43 AM ]

I have this temperament to want to be reassured because along the path I take, there are constant reminders that never fail to make me doubt and I stick out to do a little head count. I could get a hint. I bet you'd do the same and there a lot of others who have found themselves in a similar situation.

You could pace down your room as many times as you heart races you to and ponder on all, and I mean every possibility of what had gone wayward and sometimes in the midst of that, the words can't keep up with the thoughts.

Then, I wonder why we think faster than we speak.

"Probably so we can think twice." – Bill Watterson.

I listen to what I have to say and say it sincerely, because when I realized that my thoughts are powerful as a tool, I don’t wish to create a negative one to a family member, to a friend and so I say it boldly. I've come quite a long way to embrace the person I've become and it's no surprise about the castles I've built in the air. Yes, unaccomplished and yes, there's a longer route awaits but I rather take it. So don't be alarmed by the dreams I've created because unlike you, I want to do something with my life. So if you driving away reflect your prejudice to my ambitious nature than good riddance to bad thrash.

Haven't you heard, "we are what we think?"

For once, I like to be remembered the right way as it should be because no one want to leave this earth with a heavy heart. Simple things do matter and in my opinion, friends, relationships in general should learn the basis of that because in due course, if you can't make the significant other happy, then I have no idea what you have gotten yourself committed to.

There are more important things to do in life than digging into vanity you depend on when you look into the mirror.

Think about it.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, March 07, 2008

You're not an accident. [ 11:47 PM ]

You make me feel lesser on par because you're darn special, sweetheart.

You sticking by means the world to me.

2 Comment(s)

Saturday, March 01, 2008

I find solace at the wierdest time. [ 4:04 AM ]

Thank you, to whoever you've become.

1 Comment(s)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I walked out of darkness and into you. [ 11:36 PM ]

Even when all seems to be dwindling, nothing is truly gone. All can be regained and more can be found for within the depths of separation lays the delight of discovery. New light is shed and the secrets have changed.

Don't give up on me, just yet.

This may come as a surprise but you're the closest thing to hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for the better race and hope of extraordinary occurrences to happen. It goes without saying how beautiful of a person you are and have become.

0 Comment(s)

The weight of the things remain unspoken. [ 1:50 AM ]

Please don't leave.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

All old scars. [ 12:03 AM ]

Yet my mind is troubled.

Caught in a distant dream landing between the OC marathon and unchained melodies. This waking life is a distant memory of past battles, both won and lost. It's hang on every word because remembering is a more psychotic thing than forgetting.

I am certainly vibrating at Cohen frequency. Not. Exactly. Good.

"The night leaves time for thinking,
Drenched in the shrowd of gloom,
While every waking hour,
Compresses my sanity to a par,
Thus I might trick the world."

Sleep deprivation, my dearest friend.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Disappearing act. [ 11:56 PM ]

It's more the fact that you have left

This world that seemed so fair,

And none of us can see you,

Not weathered face or silvered hair.

- Donnella

0 Comment(s)

Mr.backspace [ 12:37 AM ]

What I want is a place for you to rest your head, away from everything else, where you don't have to put up a fierce front. I'm thinking back on the words you said, I'm thinking time has you torn and it's just not right.

The hard rain splats itself against my rigidy window in an attempt to send midnight chills through my dreams. An image of such massive wind blows forth and disembarks my room from the confines of the walls. My eyes droop with the sudden weight thrust upon them.

My eyes fluttered open.

Silently, I sat up on my bed, making the springs on my bed creak and moan. The same dark room stares back at me. A faint glow came from under the wood door, casting a warm light on my bedroom. I buried my head in the warmth of the pillow, content in the knowledge of my existance.

Even the dark itself, though littered with sparks of color submissed into opaque dots that swirled in front of my eyes, dizzying me to some point. My eyes were softly closed, the lids, forehead, and cheeks were in a cold sweat. I opened my eyes again and looked around. The room seemed strange, distant. I could picture you. I was afraid you looked empty.

All I could hear was a calm heartbeat.

The mild ache in my chest slowly faded. I let my muscles sink into a subconscious slumber as I myself began to doze. I shut my eyes, completely ignorant to the sting of tear drops forming from lack of contact between my eyes, and their lids.

Safe, in my nest of warmth, I was gone.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's fear of the unknown. [ 11:53 PM ]

It's funny when you look back on times in your life, of course, the ones that you can remember. The ones that make a desolate impression in the catalog of your mind. Clear and murky and in between, it floats along the confines of your head with dryly an endless capacity like water, it takes its shape.

A never ending pool, they say.

I remember a time where I once knew I got my path to success all figured out completely. But, the theory somehow manages to throw me a loop, no matter how compliant and polite I am to it. Of course, it is said that that's what makes it remarkable.

Time's going by, placidly and I'm in no position to seek understanding. I'm not looking for false hopes. By any chance, should I be painting the canvas, it's not going to be a gloomy picture. I've been pacing around the house, in and about. The pressure continued to build, making me think I would soon burst from it all. The constant opposition, the constant struggle I have with the world around me. I felt as if it would soon be too much.

Faith comes by hearing

And hearing God's word that’s true

Be careful what you listen to

That part is up to you.

The key facet of faith is that it individually allow us to take that single unifying thread and find what else about it that makes the most sense to us. I have my faith and I knew where my heart and my future lied, no matter how despair and discouragement would assault me, attacking as they so often did.

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

:) [ 4:07 PM ]

0 Comment(s)

Monday, February 18, 2008

Chasing pavements. [ 10:56 PM ]

To mornings that I awake to, light peers upon the world in dawn, forcing everything so kindly back to life. The air is crisp and cool, falsely promising a pleasant day among all the odious ones.

Maybe this could all change.

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Light the lights. [ 10:23 PM ]

"The world outside this house we can't control, not with bombs, not with diplomacy, not even with love, we know that now. The best thing we can possibly do now is just appreciate one another right here, right now, together. This family is the only sure thing in life, always was, always will be."

- Willam Walker, Brothers & Sisters

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Bad dream. [ 1:44 AM ]

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so, above as below,
That I'm missing you every time

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me, cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I've got to be unconditionally unafraid of my days without you

- KT Tunstall

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, February 09, 2008

When the season's done. [ 6:59 PM ]

Even intense charm can curdle if you lean on it exclusively.
Betty emerges lovelier than ever. She glows from within.

A collection of stereotypes, every joke at Betty's expense is countered by a scene that emphasizes her worth and spunk.

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, February 07, 2008

3 spaces back. [ 7:58 PM ]

Remember this, remember us.

Smile because it happened, this happened.

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Get me out of here. [ 6:08 PM ]

You haven't changed.
Stand in the light.
I need to see you, uncover my eyes.

The tears coming down, making lines on your face.
One for each year, now that you've been away.

We were only kids, we ran like water.
Your dad said, stay away from my daughter.
The sun was coming down when I said,
can't you just believe?

And if you wait for me,
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.
And if you wait for me,
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.
I'll be your shelter, I'll be your fate.
I'll be forever, wait for me.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be the last train home.

You were a storm, it blew us away.
I wouldn't leave you, but you couldn't stay.

- Ryan Star
ost P.S I love you

2 Comment(s)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

When your body betrays you. [ 11:16 PM ]

My little encounters have led me to turn back, a step behind I very well presume. They will all imply that I might not last the day. Lethal and alluring, lethal and unruly, it is my opiate of choice. I turned to stare at a void of sky and I figured never follow through, your empty promises for lies should not be candy in your mouth. The people close to my heart, knows my best interest and I'm grateful. Need instructs my will and even it is subject to my overwhelming desire. Trust, love, hate, and pain crumble from abusive erosion and it’s supposed to be painless to kneel.

I'm hesitant.

I want to stride through the battlefields with a tainted grin of satisfaction, I wish to accomplish. Such is what this life holds for me, in open, a slapdash reaches out to nothing but the tighter grip is out to me. If salvation was possible, I ask, why mediocrity is equally viable. The latter rules the lives of many and they know not of such addictive hue.

If I don't take this leap of faith, I will never know.

So Lord, lead me to and through unwaveringly.

3 Comment(s)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

1050+ [ 8:16 PM ]

(Moments freeze, captured in a polaroid of time...)

2 Comment(s)

Monday, January 21, 2008

Tired eyes. [ 8:44 PM ]

My eyes have seen tragic times,

almost better to be blind

with no hurt than to see great pain,

for depths of vision flood my heart.

My soul sees all.

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Stumbled. [ 9:58 PM ]

5 Comment(s)

Monday, January 14, 2008

My heart,your sleeve. [ 8:40 AM ]

You just have made me complete.

4 Comment(s)

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I'll give you more than a paper heart. [ 11:35 PM ]

We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected is just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives.

- Great Expectations, Grey’s.

Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.

Most of the days, I count the options I have left with and seek none. Most of my time, I keep my grieve a secret and shun it for the better good of silence. Mostly, I know that this sign of grieve compels me to belief that effort isn't promising.

I want the best, clearly. This might as well be a race but I am not looking for a win, I am in for the relief when I accomplish it because I'm in for the long run.

2 Comment(s)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My way home is through you. [ 10:19 PM ]

"I'm Nathan Scott and I've got too much to lose"

Season 5 premieres.

2 Comment(s)

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Heart shaped box. [ 5:37 PM ]

Entwined between the night and sun beams, the memories rush, cascading, to inundate every single unfilled liberty of my heart and mind. Friendship has shown me so much. The morning(s) after finally allowed me to catch up with myself, walking the streets alone in the wee hours with the girls has a therapeutic way of putting things into perspective. I've almost forgotten how good it feels.

As I could vividly recalled, at the crack of dawn, we reached home, our eyes were stained with make-up, we were reeking of so much smoke, there were nasty blisters and aches. But I'll trade anything in the world to relish the moments all over again. Like a good picture taken, the memories are all captured in a polaroid. The movements freeze, the good moments are encaptured in my mind. I love you girls, you can never imagine the amount of love I've invested.

3 Comment(s)

Monday, December 31, 2007

Pieces of time all in a row. [ 2:18 PM ]

To an outgoing year, 2007, may the good times live on in our memories, and may we learn lessons from the troubling times that will make us stronger and better than ever. For each and every one of you, may it be filled with significant steps toward the fulfillment of your fondest wishes, in 2008.

To dearest friends, let us focus on our goals and work toward our dreams,and yet let's all try to go with the flow a little more and stress a little less. This time we'll leap old barriers to have a real breakthrough. As we live our life, each second and minute, I know I'm privileged to have you.

Our appreciation never ends for our greatest blessings,

we have our families and friends.

Happy New Year.

1 Comment(s)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Candleburn. [ 12:30 AM ]

she lets herself go like an angel

in the snow she lays down on her back

down on her back - she goes

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong

take me over when I'm gone

will they burn for me?

Dishwalla.

1 Comment(s)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Crimble. [ 1:11 PM ]

I didn't have a chance to make a shopping list this year and it was such an awful idea to have all these fantasies in your head with the must-have(s) this season. I spent the entire few days with Mom, pushing through people, contemplating between items to get for the family and eventually settling with chocolates, well for most of them - Beautiful packaged for the season.

My absence has been a very vibrant one. And I've learnt that I am demanding more and more peace and quiet as I grow older. Sometimes it's truly blissful to be on your own be it to head out to run some errands for yours or at the same time catch up with people who do matter.

Christmas has been lovely this year and my heartfelt wishes are out to you.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, December 21, 2007

The kite runner. [ 5:25 PM ]

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Meredith Grey

2 Comment(s)

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Toast to change. [ 10:48 PM ]

Socially responsible, Freedom Writers brings our attention back to the tragedy of the Holocaust and the history of racism. This movie invoked such genuine emotions that made my eyes open for a lot of things and Hilary Swank delievered such a powerful charcter perfectly.

Many true-story movies dot the Hollywood landscape, some better and more effective than others, but very few are as inspiring, compelling, socially conscious, and moving as Freedom Writers.

2 Comment(s)

Happy Birthday Kiki (: [ 12:23 PM ]

1 Comment(s)

Saturday, December 08, 2007

It's almost clear, now. [ 10:37 PM ]

It's often said that, no matter the truth, people see what they want to see. Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along. Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them. Some people might see what was there all along.

And then there are the other people, those who run as fas as they can so they don't have to look at themselves.

3 Comment(s)

Friday, December 07, 2007

See what you wanna see. [ 10:58 PM ]

The angels they burn inside for us
are we ever, are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down come around

- Dishwalla.

Its pity to witness the capitulation of what little is left and that all these act of self-destruction wasn't of necessity in the first place especially when cabal of silent thoughts isn't exactly working. The sheer strength of trying to make everything better but reaping nothing out of it becomes sheer exhaustion. I'm truly baffled. I don't know if I'm still hovering about issues I'm uncertain with and I'm just skirting over the surface of it. I'm pretty much not confident of dipping my toes into it. The captivation stands alone, tall and steady.

Idle minds are indeed, the devil's playground.

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Bird's eye view. [ 9:27 PM ]

"It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only the ignorant and narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things."

Lawrence G. Lovasik

1 Comment(s)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Unplugged. [ 7:46 PM ]

No other acoustic instrument can match the piano's expressive range, and no electric instrument can match its mystery.

Kenneth Miller

I'm so relieved, I got back to playing my piano. I still remembered my first notes on those virgin keys as clear as day. It was a decade ago. This huge black upright. It had one of those winding stools on it that could wind down low or wind up really high, and I would wind it down to get on it and then I would ask my teacher to wind it up so I could reach the keys. I wasn't just an extension of my piano, I was the piano. That's how much classical pieces influenced me.

Not only was I away from the piano for a couple of years or so but I really was getting a bit bored with the piano, compositionally. I don't put boundaries on myself when I sit at the piano. The brutal absence done injustic to my sight reading. I'm not all music theory smart. To me, it's internal and an instinctive thing. I've never felt anything that moves me as much as my piano. I'm an emotional player. I honestly prefer my piano to people. It's totally reliable and it's alive. I can hear what it's saying.

If I couldn't play, I've no idea what kind of bitter person I would've become.

Hours, on it, I know when I'm playing passionately, and it's primitive and it's as old as time. Tortuous but, at the same time, it's the only way I learn and there was no stopping to it.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, November 23, 2007

Don't confuse motion for progress. [ 8:07 PM ]

They'd say, it's the rocking horse.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, November 19, 2007

I need you to say it's alright. [ 11:37 PM ]

I've got so much to say.

1 Comment(s)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Even lightning doesn't strike twice. [ 9:43 PM ]

"I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."

Fredrick Pearls.

Something about this, is very settling that stages itself as a heartfelt reminder for my ever needed constant reality check. If I choose to believe that the past weeks are of adamant response to giving up, then it shall be. If I choose to believe that, that adamant response is of regret, it's a wasteful emotion to begin with, I'll dispose it.

Listen to this, I say it loud and clear, when you're offered a chance, you pounce on it, grab it and make it yours. Take your time and it will go away. Get left behind, get lost forever. I'm now given a chance to prove my worth, to prove that this opportunity is meant for me because if I lose it, if I fail, I'll never get a chance to be heard. Luck isn't for the weak, because the harder you work, the more you'll have it.

Though it pains me to think of the bitter alternative, chewing the bitterness of it all may be rewarding because I want to make an impression, I want to do this just right.

1 Comment(s)

Friday, November 09, 2007

You're always on my mind. [ 12:42 AM ]

I woke up this morning, kissed by the sun rays. As I heave a breather, I just laid there in the comfort of my bed, staring at the ceiling above me and then, closing my eyelids, recuperating the lost hours of my sleep. And I started thinking.

Every now and then some other kind of fantasy slips in my head. Most of my fantasies disband when I wake, vanished to the back of my mind most habitually and true. Sometimes I choose to believe that I'm sure if I try hard enough, I can live that dream. Out of the many, my fantasy could be simple where pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better and that pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take, a capacity is present, surging my heart to impactful feelings or nursing with time. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in my dreams, our dreams.


I may not be pious enough to puff my outmost conviction in God but I keep faith in what I do and what I believe in. For the past year or so, much truth has been surfaced tentatively. Essentially, my hope shapes my life because I start looking forward to things and this is a pretty huge deal for me coming from a girl who used to wallow in self pity, holding on and not moving forward. My heart used to be unreliable. Appreciation, is certainly a strong word to begin with and every time, I'm reminded by my ugly past and tangibly, some parts of my recurrent present, I can't help but feel motivated to not conceal the truth from what I should know and take full action for my mistakes made and not doing them again, alerts me completely.

I'm taking this, baby step at a time to complete the journey of what life has for me.

3 Comment(s)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Slot this in. [ 3:51 PM ]

Based on the infamous novel series by Cecily von Ziegesar Gossip Girl, come a drama that will take your guilty pleasure to a whole new level.

Enjoy.

1 Comment(s)

Friday, November 02, 2007

Steal into the shadows [ 10:05 PM ]

Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance,
another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

- Luther Vandross

Memories drape around like an open wound that refused to scar over, an open window that no sum of might could shut.

2 Comment(s)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Open your old window. [ 9:09 PM ]

As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.

William Shakesphere

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Maybe I'm not falling in love, just into pieces. [ 9:45 PM ]

When the phone rings, it's love waiting on the other line. Like, it used to be.
Heaven, hopefully.

2 Comment(s)

Friday, October 19, 2007

Stranger than fiction. [ 10:08 PM ]

Some things sound better in my head.

2 Comment(s)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Don't just fall by playing a role. [ 9:50 PM ]

Some people always have to be doing battle with someone, sometimes even with themselves, battling with their own lives. So they begin to create a kind of play in their head, and they write the script based on their fustrations.

But the worst part is that they cannot present the play by themselves.

Paulo Coelho.

2 Comment(s)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Distanced. [ 9:49 PM ]

Hope is suspended in mid-air but this feeling of content promises some gravity. My vacant inner-self is fed with a new occupant, the thirst for knowledge and the new hunger to excel.

Mands got my much awaited letter and she feels she's been missing out on alot. I got hold of her today and filled her in with my messages on impulse. It's one of the times when you find yourself penning your thoughts down, prolly on anything that's an arm away. I do that quite often. It'd be about time that I gather them all and put up a decent letter for her.

I am mellow from the quiet and the cool of the night. My room is glowing from the cool green light of my lamp, just luring me into slumber.

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Expect another. [ 8:33 PM ]

A complex discovery was made followed by a sudden burst of quiet chaos.

The mark of a good action is that it appears inevitable in retrospect. In light of some unconventional ridicule fun, I couldn't tame the butterflies in my stomach. I could have sworn my heart was beating with such angst. I'm quite leaked by its capability to make me all lightheaded.

Its pointless wallowing in self pity, especially when you keep telling yourself things you only want to hear. Well, the only thing I'd keep is my feelings in check and it's most heartfelt when I let you know that it's been a long time since I felt this way.

We cannot swing up on a rope that is attached only to our own belt can we?

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, October 06, 2007

You can't skid if you're in a rut. [ 8:38 PM ]

As Sarah potently reminds me,

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart.

I'm afraid I agree.

2 Comment(s)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The sound of water says what I think. [ 9:46 PM ]

Like seriously, is this it?

2 Comment(s)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Dear God, [ 6:31 PM ]

Leave a day for me that marks an exodus,
When it's deliberated for a loved one to depart.
No longer will I be taken aback with such gyrate of events
With disappointment in a distance, I no longer fret.
Maybe I could heave a sigh or anticipate.
But never will I be thwarted again.

0 Comment(s)

I really hope the letter gets to you. [ 11:39 AM ]

Let the young rain of tears come.

Let the calm hands of grief come.

It’s not all as evil as you think.

Rolf Jacobsen

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A hot genre. [ 12:26 PM ]

0 Comment(s)

Put a quarter in. [ 12:12 PM ]

I think this performance of Brown's rocked the VMAs, big time.

0 Comment(s)

Breakfast's not included. [ 9:25 AM ]

In a fit of grieve, racing trains of thoughts become reasons for my fear.
As the night ascends, I guess, it's becoming a routine.

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I'm taking love. [ 11:42 AM ]

Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 21% Visual : 78% Left : 33% Right : 66%

Aruna, you are somewhat right-hemisphere dominant and have a strong visual preference, a blend of characteristics which typically apply to persons with an "artistic" temperament.

In all likelihood, you naturally act in the way that people have come to expect artists to act. With your dominant visual learning style you are active and seeking, working to absorb all of the facets of your environment. Your mind rarely rests, for even when you are not scouring the environment you are turning your searchlight on your own internal processes.

You are intense! In continually processing the data as you do on a multidimensional level, you spend little of your time in reflection -- or sometimes in social niceties. There is a high probability that you are "out of check" -- though not out of control -- sometimes, swept away by the feelings of the moment. You are one of those individuals that may well attempt to assemble a complex piece of equipment without reading the directions or following a sequence, though you might look at the diagram. Sequencing your own behavior is problematic at times.

You are rarely reflective about yourself or your motivations. You know when things are right because you feel it, you intuit as automatically as you breathe. With others, you tend to "go with your guts," not needing rules or expectations to govern your friendships.

You absorb material rapidly and randomly, it is filed "helter skelter" internally. Listening or learning from materials presented in a purely verbal fashion is not your "strong suit" and your performance in situations designed for left-hemisphere dominant persons will not always measure up to the expectations of others. If you have particular learning needs, it is to sequence material and remain focused while you are processing, to develop "structuring" techniques, and to become more efficient with your spontaneity and creativity.

Take the test, here.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Snow. [ 9:40 PM ]

It hides what's ugly and makes everything beautiful.

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Wake up call. [ 1:18 PM ]

"If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps, the whole world will be clean."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

I'm glad for you, Sammy.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Being with you. [ 12:54 AM ]

The good, the bad, the ecstacy, the remorse.
It all belongs to you.

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Be the miracle. [ 11:35 PM ]

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Not good at all. [ 7:51 PM ]

A thunderous silence breaks through my thoughts.

What was once many great ideas is now a triumph, lost.

Baffling words tumble through my mind.

Reflections of darkness hover.

A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me,

and inside myself, I take cover.

Heather Loughton

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Brittle. [ 8:39 PM ]

Laying beneath the sheets and under the covers as streaks of sun rays greet me with season and it's by this, comforting repose, I'd get better.

I love being in bed.

0 Comment(s)

Smile like you mean it. [ 6:27 PM ]

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,

Pulling your puzzles apart.

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and i rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles, chasin' up tails

Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,

Oh it's such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, September 03, 2007

Beau. [ 12:20 AM ]

From the snow-capped Himalayas in the north to the sun drenched coastal villages of the south, India unfolds like an ancient tapestry. At times threadbare and fading, the land stretches from desert dunes and scattered slums to the rich embroidery of ancient, jewelled palaces, and the majestic domes of forgotten empires.

Banaras. Agra. Delhi. Rajastan. Lucknow. India, the one destination and the very place I desire to dwell my very existence. It has never occurred to my family to travel up there and visit our anchestral village and her people. And if I ever get to, I would never do so in riches but travel to really see India for who she is. Char, first thing in the morning. The paddy fields, the farmers and the red tractors. The fortified street, the reckless auto(s) and paani puri. Nothing beats street food and Bourdain will coincide.

India is a feast for the senses where the air is heavy with the scent of jasmine and dancers trail frenetic melodies in colourful silk saris. Dishes from a palette of exotic spices that may leave a lingering taste of saffron or aniseed. In India's cities, the stench of slum living competes with the cacophony of seemingly endless traffic and a myriad of other textures, colours and movements all jostling for attention. Yours and mine.

The cool breeze and hot chapati(s) with chunks of ghee. The scent of the air, the soil beneath my feet and the happy faces I'd be greeted with, every where. Tell me, it's not worth it =)

5 Comment(s)

Saturday, August 25, 2007

God knows, you should know too. [ 6:07 PM ]

"...i'd like to think i'm the person who lives everyday like it's my last. surround myself with happiness. but sometimes, sorrow and heartache is unavoidable."

3 Comment(s)

Friday, August 24, 2007

Shotgun Blues. [ 3:51 PM ]

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place.
To be thinking of you.
It's the wrong time.
For somebody new.
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse.

Damien Rice

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

All I know is. [ 10:05 PM ]

You think you know someone but you have no idea.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, August 10, 2007

For a pocket of change. [ 10:16 PM ]

My disappointments, my flaws, my secrets, my desires and my truth.
My whisper of prayer, my silent faith.

There's a little truth between the words we've spoken.

0 Comment(s)

That still lingers on my breath. [ 12:25 AM ]

I'm miles from where you are,

I lay down on the cold gound

I, I pray that something picks me up

And sets me down in your warm arms

Snow Patrol.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The laughter penetrates my silence. [ 6:35 PM ]

Nothing beats to a cup of hot milo and a very decent hot bath.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, August 06, 2007

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. [ 10:03 PM ]

Canned laughter for applause
Tap on my windows, knock on my door.
You're one of God's better people,
There's no more room for pretense, anymore.

I feel sullied, I'm worn.

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Carve me out a slice and you can try. [ 9:22 PM ]

...because I can never understand how someone can let go of a relationship she held on with her life.

0 Comment(s)

Even your emotions have an echo. [ 3:06 PM ]

In one of the movies, a soldier looked over to his fellow cadet and asked, "Do you think he plans it all out, or makes it up as he goes along?" Well, I'd choose the latter.

m.j. John Enoch Powell quotes says:
the day u forgot all of it, is when you fall in love.
m.j. John Enoch Powell quotes says:
really fall in love
m.j. John Enoch Powell quotes says:
and have that person love u back.

I learnt that it takes a lot more to smile at the possibility even when you know it's a big façade.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Resolve. [ 6:35 PM ]

Happines comes in many forms.
In a company of good friends,
In a feeling you get when you make someone else's dream come true
Or when a promise of hope renewed.

It's okay to let yourself be happy
Because you'll never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, July 30, 2007

Forever and a day. [ 11:00 PM ]

A bed that's warm with memories

Can heal us temporarily

Adam Levine

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The best things in life aren't things. [ 11:43 PM ]

Wishing you a birthday that will bring you all the

best warmest smiles, cheerful thoughts and special happines.

You deserve a beautiful year ahead, with so much more that await.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, July 27, 2007

When you are dreaming with broken heart. [ 12:04 AM ]

and a single tear drop dribbled down as the clock strikes 12.

...the waking up is the hardest part.

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The pieces don't fit anymore. [ 7:35 PM ]

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, Pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

James Morrison.

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, July 08, 2007

You tell me. [ 10:30 PM ]

I don't believe in anything, anymore.

1 Comment(s)

You'd be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it. [ 9:06 PM ]

You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?

It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you.

0 Comment(s)

Till the sun turns black. [ 4:37 PM ]

Fate has played his hand so cruel

There ain't nothing I can do

You say you lost your love for me

Me my love for you

Sit and think, drown in drink

And sing this sad, sad song

You can bring me flowers, baby

When I'm dead and gone

You can bring me flowers - Ray Lamontagne

0 Comment(s)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Every song ends... [ 5:24 PM ]

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn't helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I thought that if I didn't go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I must quit, I must quit, you

- Michelle Featherstone

But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the music.

0 Comment(s)

Everday is a sunday evening. [ 4:12 PM ]

Everyday should be like a sunday evening.

0 Comment(s)

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Cynicism. [ 11:25 PM ]

"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin."

Henry Louis Mencken

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Spell the unsaid desires, instead. [ 9:47 PM ]

Most of our lives are a series of images, they pass us by like towns on a highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.

0 Comment(s)

Monday, June 25, 2007

Guilty as charged. [ 9:57 PM ]

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Locked Hearts And Hand Granades. [ 12:58 AM ]

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- Invictus, William Ernest Henley

0 Comment(s)

Monday, June 04, 2007

If there's heaven, this is my prayer. [ 8:59 AM ]

In the heat of the night, seems like a cold sweat

Creeping cross my brow, oh yes in the heat of the night

Stars with evil eyes stare from the sky, all mean and bright

Ain't a woman here before knows how to make the morning come

So hard to keep control when I could sell my soul

Oh, for just a little light in the heat of the night,

- Ray Charles

I love what happened all through last night.

2 Comment(s)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Let your body talk to the voice of music. [ 4:07 PM ]

I'm loving the soundtracks from Havana night.

I have this impluse to visit Cuba this very moment.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, June 01, 2007

Lost in translation. [ 8:20 PM ]

I feel a secluded strain beneath my skin and I had my knots tied up in a bunch since morning.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, May 04, 2007

Drop me in the middle. [ 11:22 PM ]

Upon the ocean I'll be the moon that turns the tide.

Why do I get the feeling that I've been here before?

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Life for rent. [ 10:24 PM ]

"...if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy

Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Because nothing I have is truly mine"

- Dido

1 Comment(s)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Crashpush. [ 10:39 PM ]

It has been one hell of a week and I am going to plunge right into a deep slumber.

1 Comment(s)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Save a prayer for me. [ 10:45 PM ]

Like painted kites, those days and nights, went flying by

The world was new, beneath a blue umbrella sky

Then softer than a piper man, one day it called to you...

Michael Buble

0 Comment(s)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A sight lost gone. [ 12:19 AM ]

I pray for you and wish I could do more,

But more I cannot do from far away.

Like leaves before the wind we cannot stay,

Ripped dancing, dancing to the forest floor.

I wish I could your ailing health restore

And bring you to the strength of yesterday,

But all we mortal souls can do is pray

That God might alter what we have in store.

The beauty in our fragile life is love,

The only thing that makes the moment matter,

The golden thread that binds us all in light.

I wish, I wish I could your pain remove,

But like a wall the truth my will must shatter,

And so I send my prayers into the night.

Nicholas Gordon

0 Comment(s)

Thursday, March 08, 2007

The colder water. [ 6:04 PM ]

And so it is, just like you said it would be.

Life goes easy on memost of the time.

And so it is the shorter story, no love no glory.

No hero in her skies

I can't take my eyes off of you

And so it is just like you said it should be.

We'll both forget the breeze most of the time

And so it is the colder water, the blower's daughter, the pupil in denial.

I can't take my eyes off of you.

Did i say that i loathe you?

Did i say that i want to leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you my mind 'til i find somebody new.

Damien Rice

0 Comment(s)

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm out of reach. [ 1:09 PM ]

Thinking the faster that I go, the faster that I will reach my goal

The race is not given to the swift but to the one who endureth.

I thought that all of my obstacles were behind me.

Walking around like I'm made out of diamond,

I tripped and fell and it reminded me to move over

And let the angels guide me.

India Arie.

2 Comment(s)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Fear. [ 10:54 PM ]

"Remember when you were a kid and your biggest fret was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still adulthood has it perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That's, pretty damn good." Meredith Grey.

Tendency of running away has never failed to come knocking on my door and I never fall short to atleast peep. But like hospitality that arrives with the host, avoidance is invited in and sooner than you know, you'll be shunning yourself.

So, I'm going to watch what sticking it out looks like.

0 Comment(s)

Friday, November 10, 2006

Electricity. [ 11:09 PM ]

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong?

What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?

The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant.

That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Meredith Grey

2 Comment(s)

Friday, October 06, 2006

You're gone. [ 10:11 PM ]

There's a thousand words that I could say to make you come home.

0 Comment(s)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Words speak for herself. [ 8:18 PM ]

"What makes bonding special is the way each one remembers the other when they are apart and they miss the talks, the laughs and the times they were together.Life changes, memories don't"

- Jemima

2 Comment(s)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

An old wound. [ 10:08 AM ]

I awoke from my prayer to death,

felt the cold black marble burn my skin.

How long was I on the bathroom floor?

Probably only minutes. My joints detested -

it had been hours.

My conscience resisted that moment

of clarity, wanted to be brought down

again into the picture-frame of insanity

where wanting - no, needing death - was allowed.

I want to believe that no one understands,

none of the doors around me have handles.

Is it the Devil who feeds my self pity

into such a cocoon that it's hard to break

my head free of the sticky swirls? Or is it

the Devil who cuts open the cocoon

that I can remember the world around me?

3 Comment(s)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The art of losing. [ 11:33 AM ]

The art of losing isn't hard to master,
So many things seem filled with the intent
To be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something everyday.
Accept the fluster of lost door keys,
The hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, two rivers and a continent
I miss them but it wasn't a disaster.
Even losing you, the joking voice, a gesture i love.

I shan't have lied, it's evident the art of
losing is not too hard to master.
Though it may look like a disaster.

0 Comment(s)